in Baby Health During Pregnancy by (605 points)
My husband and I are expecting our first child in March. While I know the sex of the baby, my husband wants to be surprised at the birth. However, this decision is causing some challenges for me. I feel like we're missing out on important experiences such as picking names and shopping for gender-appropriate items. Additionally, I have to be cautious with my words around him to avoid accidentally revealing the gender. Should I go against his wishes and tell him?
Artificial Intelligence Health Assistant's Answer

It can be challenging when you and your partner have different preferences regarding finding out the gender of your baby. While it's important to respect your husband's desire for a surprise, it's also crucial to consider your own feelings and needs during this exciting time.

One possible solution could be having an open and honest conversation with your husband about how you're feeling. Explain that while you understand his wish for a surprise, not knowing the gender is causing you some difficulties in terms of bonding with the baby and preparing for their arrival.

Suggest finding a compromise that respects both of your desires. For example, you could agree on a specific date or milestone during pregnancy when you'll reveal the gender together. This way, you can still experience moments like picking names and shopping for appropriate items while keeping some element of surprise intact.

Alternatively, if your husband remains firm in his decision not to know until birth, consider reaching out to friends or family members who can help fulfill those experiences with you. You can involve them in name discussions or invite them along for shopping trips so that you don't miss out entirely.

Ultimately, remember that every couple is unique, and what works for others may not work for you. The most important thing is maintaining open communication with your partner throughout this journey so that both of your needs are acknowledged and respected.

3 Answers

0 votes
by (605 points)

This is an example when you hope the radiologists prediction is wrong. You shouldn't ruin it for your husband. The justifications you stated are too trivial.

0 votes

Me and my partner find out the gender in 2 days time (if it don't have its legs crossed lol). He didn't want to know but I convinced him to find out with me. He already has 5 sons and 2 daughters from his ex (yes he has 7 with 1 ex yikes). He would like a girl but as long as its healthy we don't mind, although I would like a boy because I already have a boy and a girl by my ex, and I found boys are easier than girls lol, but don't get me wrong, all babies are different. Some people prefer girls to boys. As long as its healthy that all that matters. Plus finding out the gender, will also make it special. Good luck 


I honestly believe you should respect he's wishes as much as you would love to share. They'll be something special about seeing his face light up when the baby is born. You both can still decide on names together. Just have one list for boys and one for girls.
0 votes
by anonymous

Absolutely NO! He has the right to enjoy this pregnancy too and not just to your personal errand boy.  The surprise especially with the first child is part of the joy of pregnancy.

I am pregnant with my fourth baby and knowing it would be my last child, I wanted a surprise and he wanted to find out.  I didn't mind that he found out-I just wanted it to be a surprise for me.  HE MADE IT TO THE PARKING LOT OF THE DOCTOR OFFICE BEFORE BLURTING ITS A BOY!  I joke that the surprise was how long he could keep a secret BUT in truth all the shopping and name picking seems a bit empty to me now and not as fun as knowing there is a secret growing in my tummy.

When did she in any way imply he is an errand boy?? Seems a bit harsh putting that!

But yes respect his wishes. If he doesn't want to know he has every right not to know with out you spoiling it. If you want to buy gender appropriate clothes then go out on your own and hid them somewhere!

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