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I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second child. A friend of mine just miscarried at 12 weeks. We aren't especially close but our husbands work together and our families get along well. I feel terrible for her, but I don't know how to support her without serving as a constant reminder of what she has lost. Any advice on supporting a friend through miscarriage while being pregnant myself?
Artificial Intelligence Health Assistant's Answer

Experiencing a miscarriage can be an incredibly difficult and painful time for your friend, and it's understandable that you want to offer support while also being sensitive to her feelings. Here are some ways you can help:

  • Reach out with empathy: Let your friend know that you are there for her and that you understand the pain she is going through. Offer your condolences and express your willingness to listen if she wants to talk.

  • Be mindful of triggers: While it's important not to avoid the topic altogether, try to be sensitive about discussing pregnancy-related topics around your friend. Ask her if there are any specific triggers or subjects she would prefer to avoid, and respect her wishes.

  • Offer practical assistance: Practical help can go a long way in times of grief. Offer to run errands, cook meals, or take care of any other tasks that may be overwhelming for your friend during this time.

  • Validate her feelings: Let your friend know that it's okay for her to grieve and feel sad about her loss. Avoid minimizing or dismissing her emotions by saying things like "you'll get pregnant again" or "it wasn't meant to be." Instead, validate her feelings and let her know that you are there for support.

  • Check-in regularly: Keep in touch with your friend regularly, even if it's just a simple text message to let her know you're thinking of her. This shows that you care and are there for her, even if you can't physically be present all the time.

  • Offer resources: If your friend is open to it, provide her with information about support groups, counseling services, or online communities where she can connect with others who have experienced similar losses. These resources can provide additional support and understanding.

    Remember, everyone grieves differently, so it's important to listen and adapt your support based on your friend's needs. By being empathetic, respectful, and available, you can help your friend navigate through this difficult time while also being mindful of your own pregnancy journey.

  • 2 Answers

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    My friend and I had due dates 2 weeks apart. Sadly I lost my baby at 14 weeks. I didn't want my good friend to feel ackward around me. I talked openly with her about what I was going through. I let her know that I wanted her to continue to have a good experience despite my loss. She mourned for me and we cried together but in the end everything was okay. Just talk to your friend, let her share her feelings. Ask her how you can help. She may need some time so be patient. You guys will get through this.

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    A few months ago my pregnancy ended in week 10, and I was devastated. I have a couple of close friends who are pregnant -- one whose baby is due next month, one in late April and one in early June. Of course there have been moments I've had thoughts of "why are they okay when my own body failed?" But each time, I step back and remind myself of the odds of miscarriage, which are sadly very high. Also, I remind myself that my miscarriage has NOTHING to do with my friends, and that both they AND I should be thrilled at every step of their pregnancies, thrilled that we'll all be blessed when their little ones arrive in the world. I take joy from their experiences and try to hope for my own future rather than punish my friends for my misfortune or be resentful. They're sad for me, as friends will be, and as friends will be, I'm happy for them. I just find it a better way to focus my energy and to remind myself of the joys of life during this painful time for me and my husband.

    by
    My sister and I were pregnant together due 1 month exactly apart ! Both had great pregnancies then one day I got a phone call that t 6 and a half months she went in for an ultrasound and he had no heartbeat .. my world was shook I didn't know how to go through it without her .. should I be around ? how do I even speak to her about it? .. I didn't want to feel as though I was rubbing anything in or hurting her by knowing her baby would be at the same points and milestones. If I were you I would try to speak with her without using I understand how you feel (unless you have had a miscarriage you dont) and if she appears closed off or not ready at least she will know when she is ready you will be there .. hope this helps in some way ... on the bright side .. we acknowledge my nephew with my daughter who would have been born together. Then we got pregnant together again and both healthy babies. This has helped us become closer then ever because we were able to communicate and I was able to help her heal ♡.

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